The World's Worst Tooth Fairy

Do you do the tooth fairy with your kids?  We do.  I have fond memories of the tooth fairy as a kid.  Eventually, of course, I realized it was my mom who left the loose change under my pillow, but that was right around the time I stopped loosing teeth every other week. 

I did not inherit the good tooth fairy gene.  As a matter of fact, I'm a horrible tooth fairy.  Take this most recent lost tooth as an example.  Fritter lost his tooth during Blue Knights last Friday.  We diligently tied the tooth up in a sandwich bag and put it on the hutch in our dining room to await bed time.  But then we forgot to put it under his pillow until Sunday night.  This morning Fritter came into the kitchen and informed me that the tooth fairy did not come.  He didn't look all that surprised either.  I told him we simply needed to blow some bubbles so the bubble fairies could go tell the tooth fairy about his tooth (because, you know, fairies live in bubbles and fly away when they pop).  He seemed to like this idea (or was he simply indulging his distracted mother?) and off he went to blow bubbles.  I went off to set the alarm on my phone for 10:30 to remind myself to put money under his pillow.

This is not the first time this has happened.

Another time, the tooth fairy left a note after not showing up the first night, saying she was caught in a freak snow storm over the Sierra Madres and was very behind schedule.  She was very sorry though, and happy for the tooth.  Once she even took a wrong turn in Albuquerque.

See what I mean? 

I look around and see four children (soon five) with mouthfuls of teeth and my heart skips a beat.  Perhaps this tooth fairy should be fired.  But no.  We all know it's pretend, and we enjoy it, even if mom drops the ball most of the time.  They forgive me and seem to enjoy the notes.

But what does she do with all those teeth? We've asked ourselves this very question. We came up with a theory.  We think she is building a giant castle made of teeth.  Perhaps the teeth are a good insulator.  Or maybe they sparkle just so in the sun.  And to clean it, all she needs is a tooth brush.

World's Worst Tooth Fairy.  That's me.  But it sure is a great story.