Saturday, August 7, 2010

Going Crazy, Pray For Me

We had a wonderful night last night. We ate at the Outback and then went and saw Inception.

And I felt great. And I was nervous the whole time that I was going to miscarry, because I felt great. And then we got home, and as I laid in bed, I felt sick again, and was happy about it.

This morning, I woke up full of energy. The house smelled like old macaroni and cheese (enough to make anyone's stomach churn), and since I felt so good, I decided to deep clean it. All of it. And then the vacuum dropped on my foot and my dear husband made me sit down and I cried.

The doorbell rang right then, so I wiped my tears away and answered it. Three very cute, bible toting women were standing at my door. They read me a verse from Psalms that promises peace. I didn't buy whatever they were selling, but I took the peace they brought and locked it in my heart. For a little while at least.

I took a nap with the kids this afternoon, and when I woke I felt just awful. I knew I needed to eat, but I also knew that if I tried, I would give it all back. That was a good feeling.

And right now, it's 10:30 at night, I don't feel sick, and I've been Googling all those worries. Google offers no support, though, and only manages to make me more crazy.

So far, I've managed to stay sane with a simple, "Jesus, I trust in you". But right now, it's not really abating my fears. So if you would, say a little prayer for me and Little Cub. Because I think I might just loose my mind this pregnancy.


Liz said...

Hang in there, I know how you feel. I do the same thing, but as soon as i get worried again the nausea hits and then i wish it would go away lol. God is just giving you a little break from the nausea, so except it:)! Talk to you soon and we are praying for you!

Mom said...

Bless your heart and mind sweetie, all my prayers got to you and ltl cub. You are going to be fine. Lots of love allways. God Bless, Mom
ps. glad you had a good time last night.

Kate said...

Aw, Cmerie! You can count on my prayers for you and your little one. I am sure that everything will be fine. Keep your chin up, keep trusting, and stay away from google if you can!

Much love and hugs!