Going Crazy, Pray For Me

We had a wonderful night last night. We ate at the Outback and then went and saw Inception.

And I felt great. And I was nervous the whole time that I was going to miscarry, because I felt great. And then we got home, and as I laid in bed, I felt sick again, and was happy about it.

This morning, I woke up full of energy. The house smelled like old macaroni and cheese (enough to make anyone's stomach churn), and since I felt so good, I decided to deep clean it. All of it. And then the vacuum dropped on my foot and my dear husband made me sit down and I cried.

The doorbell rang right then, so I wiped my tears away and answered it. Three very cute, bible toting women were standing at my door. They read me a verse from Psalms that promises peace. I didn't buy whatever they were selling, but I took the peace they brought and locked it in my heart. For a little while at least.

I took a nap with the kids this afternoon, and when I woke I felt just awful. I knew I needed to eat, but I also knew that if I tried, I would give it all back. That was a good feeling.

And right now, it's 10:30 at night, I don't feel sick, and I've been Googling all those worries. Google offers no support, though, and only manages to make me more crazy.

So far, I've managed to stay sane with a simple, "Jesus, I trust in you". But right now, it's not really abating my fears. So if you would, say a little prayer for me and Little Cub. Because I think I might just loose my mind this pregnancy.