Making Friends

When I was very young, I made friends easily. I remember once, my step-sister at the time, Amber, and I went door to door in our neighborhood asking the adults that answered if they had any kids for us to play with. Soon though, my mom began dating a different guy, this one worked in oil fields, and we never lived in one spot for very long. I learned to make friends, but never had to worry about keeping them, because soon enough we would be leaving.

Once junior high came, we sort of settled back in my home town. There I didn't have to make my own friends. I had cousins. Not just any cousins either. We were close, we helped take care of each other, (at least, they helped take care of me). Of course, we had to work a little to take care of our friendships, but in the long run, I always knew that they loved me and I loved them and that was that.

I am your cousin,

and you are mine,

I guess that makes us...

Cousins!

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My cousins, two in particular, we good at making friends. Every friend I had I met through one of them. Some people accused us of being connected at the hip. And maybe we were. We relied on each other.

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Unfortunately, this didn't help me when I went to college. Things were different there, even for a junior college. I didn't know many people, and kept to myself. Actually, it wasn't until my last year (I was there for *sigh* four years before going to University) when I changed my major to engineering that I met people (my future husband for one) on my own. In that case, they met me, not the other way around. Being the only girl in a class full of guys will do that.

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When I moved "over the hill" to go to University, I didn't know anyone, save my future husband. I didn't really know how to meet people. I was the quiet one in my classes, I did my work and left. Group projects were very hard for me. I never knew what to say, and the kids in my classes seemed so serious and unfriendly. Actually, now that I think about it, that's probably what they thought of me. Eventually, fall came and some of our friends from the junior college came with it. We had some very good friends by the time graduation came.

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And now, here we are in Arizona. Far away from any friends or family. Our family is young, we are just starting out. But we've been here a year, and there are still no friends in sight. Every other Wednesday, I facilitate a Familia class for our church. I really enjoy it, as it is one of the very few times I get a chance to talk to other people besides my husband. And women at that.

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Last Wednesday, because it is the end of the year, and people are starting to get busy with summer (at least here) only one lady showed up, and we had to reschedule the class. As I was driving away, I thought that it would be nice to take someone to lunch and just chat. I had no one to call.

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I'm not down and depressed about this. I'm busy at home, and right now pretty sick. But it did get me thinking that if we don't put ourselves out there and start trying to make friends, we won't have any. But now I'm stuck. Where do we begin? My husband thinks that we could meet a couple at church, but how does that work? Do we just saunter up to a couple as they are getting in their car after Mass and ask them to lunch? Thankfully my husband is more well versed in the social aspect of things.

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What do you do? Have you ever been in a position like this? How do you go about meeting new people?

On Cleaning

Last evening, as I sat on the bathroom floor with my head hovering above the toilet in the classic vomiting pose, I thought to myself, "This toilet really needs a good cleaning." And then I tried to remember the last time I cleaned it. I couldn't remember. Yuck! Housekeeping has taken a backseat to the pregnancy sickness I am experiencing. I was not even this sick with Fritter! And with Noel, my miscarriage, I was only a little sick. So I'm thinking this is a positive thing. And I'm thinking that perhaps we're having a girl. Last night I dreamed we were having twins. Whatever we're having, I'm daring to say that I think things are going well, so far.

Anyway, back to housekeeping. Saturday, my dear husband helped me clean up the house. He also got us a new vacuum! It's a Bissell Lift-Off Revolution Pet. We don't have any pets, but we might someday. Anyway, it looks like a good vacuum, I haven't used it yet, but he has, and he really likes it.

The toilets, however, did not get touched. So this morning, I took advantage of the hour or so I have in the morning before my sickness sets in and I cleaned the kitchen, started a load of whites, made the bed (for the first time in...a week!), and *gasp!* scrubbed the toilets and bathroom sinks. I feel better now. At least next time I'm stuck on the bathroom floor with my head in the commode, I can think of something else. Like how I can't wait to be around 14 weeks pregnant instead of just 8.

PS - I know I sound whiny, and I have been a little bit, but I really am truly thankful that things seem to be going so well. I am also trying to get into the practice of offering this up for the health of our child.

How To Keep Your Toddler Busy

...when you have pregnancy sickness.

Step 1) Fill a big pan or bowl with cool/cold water.
Step 2) Set the bowl of water in front of a chair on your porch or other yard area.
Step 3) Take everything off the toddler except a diaper (and maybe a pair of sandals).
Step 4) Take off your shoes.
Step 5) Soak your feet while your toddler splashes away in happiness.

We live on a third floor apartment, so baby pools are out of the question for us. We do have an enclosed balcony, and this worked great for me today.

Rag Time Cowboy Joe

For all you Wyoming fans (and you know who you are), I was watching I Love Lucy today. During the episode I noticed this and found it on YouTube for your viewing pleasure.

Piles

The clutter in this house is driving me crazy! I have been sick (praise God!) and pretty much the only thing I've been able to accomplish, as far as housework, has been cleaning the kitchen and making my bed each morning. Everything else has been getting pushed aside for those couple of times during the day that I feel well enough to pick something up.

Because I have not been staying on top of it all, the clutter has just been piling up. My desk is covered in papers and bills that need to be organized. My dresser has socks waiting for their mates, about 3 National Catholic Register's yet to be read, and all the free samples that came with the diaper bag they give you at the doctor's office that have yet to be sorted. The top of the entertainment center (I cannot wait until we can get a flat TV that mounts on the wall) has collected piles of...well...everything! Even our dinner table, which is usually the one spot that is kept clear most of the time, has odds and ends.

How did this happen? Where did it all come from? I'm tempted to just take a trash bag and throw it all away. Usually I'm able to manage all this clutter, and keep it down to maybe one pile on my desk that needs sorted. But not lately.

What do you do to manage clutter? Any suggestions for me?

Emotional

My emotions are going crazy. I just watched a new Mc*Donald's commercial on TV. The one with the little boy playing with his new little brother. I'm not trying to plug for them at all, actually I heard a little rumor that we are supposed to be boycotting them. Something about gay marriage. Anyway, I saw this commercial today, and cried! Not because it was sad, but because I so desperately want Fritter to have a little brother or sister. I have to say, I am torturing myself. I'm not meaning to, but I am nonetheless. If you can spare some prayers, would you please direct them my way? Thank you.

4:30am Doubts and Prayers

Fritter woke up at 4:30 this morning. After laying him back down, I couldn't get back to sleep. I lay in bed wondering if our new baby was alright. Why did I not feel sick right then? But I felt sick earlier that day. But I also felt sick with Noel (our miscarriage) just not THAT sick. And then it stopped, and I miscarried. What was that little pain on my left side? Could I be having an ectopic pregnancy? Why did my back hurt? Was I already miscarrying?

Until the alarm went off at 6, I laid there worrying. I know it's in God's hands, and I really can trust his will. He always knows what's best for me, even if it hurts. Perhaps I didn't deserve another baby. But of course I didn't, I don't really deserve anything I have. None of us do. God doesn't give us things we deserve, that's not how it works. Right? Right.

And then desperate for sleep, because I knew my day would start whether I was ready or not, I prayed for the grace to simply trust in God's will. And I think I may have gotten another 20 minutes or so of sleep as the alarm went off and my dh hit snooze.

I plan on taking it easy today (easier than yesterday, is that possible?). But when we finally got up, I realized we only had one more diaper. So after dh left for work, I loaded Fritter into the stroller and walked the one block to the store. It was a nice morning, and we saw about half a dozen hot air balloons. While there, I remembered that I had been craving chocolate ice cream, so I got some. And then I remembered we needed cheese, my hubby needed razorblades, and I had craved cherry tomatoes yesterday. As I picked up the tomatoes, I saw that they had a fresh supply of grapefruits, so I got one for my breakfast. They say never go to the store hungry. That's true, but tired and hungry is even worse.

After picking up the house and loading the dishwasher from last night, I sat down to rest. And then I felt it. My sickness coming back. Just a little bit. Just enough to say, "Hey, I'm still here." I'm thankful, really I am.

It's a Good Thing...

It's ok if I turned on the TV to baseball and put Fritter in his highchair in the living room to watch it. Right? Ok, so I'm feeling a little guilty about it, but he was getting into EVERYTHING and I really thought that if I chased him one more time, I would really get sick. You know the feeling right?

*sigh* This has become my new mantra, "It's a good thing, it's a good thing, it's a...good...thing?"

Thank you for all of your advice. I tried ginger tea when I was sick with Fritter. The taste was fine, but the smell made my stomach churn worse than it already was. I haven't had any since. I had to laugh when I was given the advice to drink teaspoon fulls of Coke. Before I got pregnant with Fritter, I really disliked dark soda. Any kind, Dr. Pepper, Coke, Pepsi. Sometimes I could drink Root Beer, but only with ice cream, and never a whole one. However, while I was pregnant with him, I craved Pepsi. Or Coke, but mostly Pepsi. I couldn't even have told you the difference between the two before. I would send my dh off to get me a fountain Pepsi from the convenience store so we could share one. A can or bottle wouldn't do, it had to have the special ice from the convenience store. It just tasted better.

So maybe there was a reason I craved Pepsi. Maybe it made me feel better, I don't remember. But I may just give it a try.

My house is slowly falling apart, the laundry is piling up, my son wants to go to the park. All I can manage to do is make the bed in the morning, get myself dressed, make breakfast and lunch, and lay on the couch. I've had a load of laundry in the dryer for two days now waiting to get folded. My poor hubby this morning had to dig through it to find an undershirt. So I forced myself to throw one more load in the washer and move it to the dryer. Right now I have the first load that's been sitting around in a laundry basket and the other load is still sitting in the dryer. That's my only goal for today. Fold and put away both loads.

I'm getting a second wind, I'd better go fold before it ends.

Prayer Answered

I've prayed for it from the moment I knew I was pregnant. It's here! Morning sickness (aka All-Day-Long-But-Worse-in-the-Evening-Sickness) has decided to grace me with it's presence. Now if I can just remember that this is a good thing.

Easter Pics

I'm missing a couple of pictures that were taken with other family members cameras, and I don't really feel right posting pictures of other people's children, so these will have to do. If I get more pictures (most notably, Fritter on the Easter egg hunt) I will post them, but you might not want to hold your breath.

Here is my little gentleman in his Easter suit from his great-grandmother on my mom's side.

And here are my two dapper men.

Yay! Easter eggs!
Hmmm...what shall I get into next?

Pima Air And Space Museum

A few weeks ago, (or was it a month?), we went to Tucson to visit the Pima Air And Space Museum. My dh worked on airplanes in the Navy, and he loves them.

Fritter and I in front of a helicopter. Sorry the picture is kind of dark.

The museum had a very fun children's area set up inside. Besides this airplane that had knobs and buttons (which Fritter's LOVES), they also had a control tower with working lights and sounds.

Hubby and Fritter in front of a P-3 Orion (really the only plane I remember the name of). This was his plane in the Navy.

I would post our other pictures, but I couldn't tell you much about the planes, and they really are worthy of more than I can give you.

We were only able to spend a couple hours there, but you could spend a whole day and probably not see everything. They have a couple of nice indoor places with history stuff that I found totally interesting, the children's area, not to mention all the planes outside. If you are ever in the Tucson area, I would highly recommend going here.

New Posts To Come Soon

I just put our newest pictures onto the computer (uploaded or downloaded?). So expect a couple of posts soon.

Mean Old Crib

It's only happened a couple of times before and it's never fun. It happened again today. After only 45 minutes of Fritter's morning nap, he started crying. It was an unusual cry, a little muffled, so I went in to check on him. He was laying on his stomach with both legs sticking through the crib slats! And he couldn't move. I couldn't pull him out myself without hurting him, so I called my dh in from outside to help me. He lifted and gently pulled his body as I worked his legs out. I have no idea how he got like that. Afterwards, his chubby little legs were pretty red where they were stuck. I hope he doesn't bruise, but I think he might a little.

First Doctor's Appointment

Well, my first appointment went well. I didn't meet with the actual doctor, but rather with a physician's assistant. She was very nice, and answered all of my concerns. I will be rotated through each of the doctor's there until around 30 weeks or so and then I will only see the main doctor. Before I am officially on the list for VBAC however, I have to get my previous doctor's charts for them so they will know I am a good candidate. And of course, after the appointment, I got sent to the lab for pricks and prods, and Oh! how I hate needles. My ultrasound will be scheduled for between 8 and 10 weeks. I know many of you don't get these done. The only reason I do is for that extra chance to see my baby. Of course it doesn't matter to me about birth defects or whatever else they are looking for. We love our baby no matter what.

After that busy day, I have some picking up to do, and a couch calling my name for a nap.

Dad and Baby

Thank you all for your continuing prayers. We got home after an uneventful trip on Wednesday night. My father-in-laws funeral was Tuesday. It was very nice, and the church was packed. This has been harder on me than I expected. I have had other family members die before, and while I felt sad, it was never like this.

Every time I do something, I'll get a memory of him. For example, at their house in Wyoming, they have a coffee cup from the Farmer's Almanac. The front of it says something like, "Daughter's should be taught to cook, sew, clean, and do other important tasks. Sons should be useful and observing about the farm." To tease me, he would give me that cup, and then put his arm around my dh and say (in a fake voice), "Sons should be useful and observing about the farm." In the few short years that I have been a part of this family, he treated me more like a daughter than my own father ever did. I'm just so sad. But I know that he's better now and not suffering.

In other news, I have my first doctor's appointment today. It's a little early, I'm only around 5 weeks, but my doctor only takes two VBAC's a month, and already has one booked for November. Since my due date falls December 5, they want me in now, so I can guarantee my spot with her. I'm not even entirely sure that she's who I want to go with, but if she is I need to make sure I can get her. Her VBAC rate is only around 40%. But she practices like a midwife, and she is very holistic. Unfortunately, that usually goes hand in hand with being very liberal. She was the doctor I had when I had my miscarriage back in August, and I wasn't all that thrilled with the care I received. Then again, I'm not really sure what I should expect. She does deliver at a hospital that is somewhat close to me that also has a more hands off approach, and she encourages laboring at home even during a VBAC, which is very hard to find.

There are two Catholic doctors in town. The first does not do VBAC's because he is the only doctor in his practice. The other is quite away's from me, and he doesn't deliver at the good hospital. Can you tell I don't really trust doctor's? I think a good doctor is hard to find. I've found that many of them are so worried about themselves and being sued, that they make it hard on the rest of us.

In my opinion, that was part of the reason for my C-section in the first place. My midwife (the only one in town) went out of town the day I went into labor with Fritter. I wanted everything to be as natural as possible, but the one doctor that I really didn't trust was the one on call that night. He has a very high C-section rate. So high, in fact, that some people call him the tailor.

The moment I walked into the hospital, I was on edge. I labored at home for quite a while before going in, and did very well on my own. I was dilated to 7cm. But, the nurses laid me in bed and strapped monitors to me, because now I was HIS patient. Needless to say, my labor stalled. Fritter's heart rate went crazy and the doctor immediately said I needed a C-section.

There was no encouragement before all this to get out of bed and move, and this being my first baby (and being scared of the hospital) I didn't really think to do it myself. So he called in the team, and even though it was an "emergency" it took them a half-hour to even get me in the operating room, let alone to prep me. *Sigh*

So now I have the added bonus of finding not just a good doctor, but one willing to allow me to have a VBAC. We cannot have a midwife, unless a doctor is willing to be at the hospital the whole time and take no part unless there was a rupture or something. Not very many doctors are willing to take a back-seat. So I'm hoping this doctor will be the next best thing.

Another thing I'm worried about is because this is such an early appointment, they could still want to do an ultrasound. That's all well and good, but I don't think I could handle not hearing the baby's heartbeat, even if everything is ok. So if that's what they want to do, I may ask that we wait until my next appointment.

One very cute thing. My dear husband is so concerned for me and the baby, that he prioritized things for me. He said that first I take care of myself and our little one. If I'm taking a nap when he comes home from work that's a good thing. Second is taking care of Fritter. Third is taking care of the house. He doesn't want me grocery shopping, and good walks should wait until after the first three months. So he's going to do the grocery shopping, and any walks I take cannot be long and strenuous. No lifting, except Fritter. I could get used to this. :-)