Friday, March 18, 2011

Forever Pregnant

Yesterday morning I awoke to the feeling that this was the day!  This was the day we were going to meet our Little Cub.  I have been excited and anxious for about a week now, and at my appointment on Tuesday revealed I was close to 3 cm dilated.  The doctor assured me I would go into labor by Saturday (Why do they tell us that?!  It's enough to drive any woman mad!)

Most of the day yesterday I had mild Braxtons with a couple of strong ones and by 5pm really thought things were going to get moving at some point soon.  I was supposed to go do a 40 Days For Life hour with a group of friends, but called and said I thought it was best for me to stay close to home, and my dear husband agreed.

By the time we got the kids in bed last evening, the contractions (or maybe Braxtons?  It's so hard to tell at this point.) were coming every half hour.  In reality I know that this means nothing.  But in my anxiousness to have.this.baby. I wanted to believe it meant something.  But, after falling asleep and waking this morning without a baby in my arms, I can fool myself no longer.  I am going to be the first woman to ever be pregnant forever.

I've consoled myself with reading other women's birth stories, including my own.  I've told myself that it will happen in God's time.  When I talked with my husband this morning and told him how things were going, he kindly consoled me with an encouraging, "Yep, you're going to putter."

My plan for today?  Sit on the birth ball, finish the laundry, snuggle my kids.  I'd like to say have a baby, but I don't want to get my hopes up.  The due date is more than a week away.  The reality is it could be another...three...weeks.  I shudder to think.

1 comment:

Kate said...

Oh, Cmerie! I'm praying for you!!!! Hang in there!!!!!

Love,
Kate